why are we scared of showing who we really are?
So, I’m taking a break from Christmas cheer and blogmas, but doing a ‘real life’ post. I have noticed over the last few weeks that people are talking about the pressure to be perfect. The pressure to be someone they are not. Why are we scared of showing who we really are?
It’s easy to fall into the trap of not feeling good enough, I know that I have. It’s a nasty trap, and it quite often feels like there is no way out. Despite that, you must persevere and try to move on from that. It is easier said than done though.
In this day and age of social media and constant communication, it is so easy to compare yourselves to other people and to feel that FOMO. Sometimes on Instagram I see the most stunning feeds, I compare them to mine and I feel like mine is really boring. This makes me feel like I HAVE to go out and then I spend my time just taking photos, rather than actually enjoying myself.
Going back to the topic at hand:
Why are we scared to show who we really are?
I think a lot of it does have to do with that idea of perfect – from a young age we are taught that in order to do well we must come first, or top, in everything. However, that’s not what really happens in the real world. It’s good to lose or to come last sometimes, it teaches you coping skills. As a teacher, I often see children who can’t cope with coming last or not being right at the to. And I think that is really scary. What are we teaching our children? That they are only doing well if they are the best in everything?
As people, we dedicate so much energy and time and effort into creating a persona that other people will like. And you know what? Not everyone will like you. In creating this persona, we are not only losing who we really are we are also exhausting ourselves with putting an act.
With Instagram, I have been working really hard at creating a new look
This is a look where I am more relaxed, more me, doing the silly poses I love to do and catching those candid moments. I feel like those moments where I am not forcing the socially accepted look, is the best one for me. It makes me feel more confident and free. And I think that by this stage in my late 20s, I should not be so concerned with what other people actually think of me.
View this post on Instagram
Having a bit of a Mary Poppins moment. “Feeling confident, being comfortable in your skin – that’s what really makes you beautiful” -Bobbi Brown. OOTD: Jeans: Just Jeans. Jacket: Glassons. All of these items are at least 4 years old. #sustainablefashion #fbloggers #theuncoolclub #femenish #discoverunder10k #styleblogger #styleinspo #stylebook #fashionista #ootd #wiwt #wiw #outfitblogger #outfitoftheday #anotheroutfitpost #whatiwore #whatiworetoday #prettylittleiiinspo #peterpancollar #fashionpost #potd #beauty #beingyourself #thismakesmehappy #confidence #currentlywearing #lookoftheday #girlswithstyle #makeyousmilestyle #discoverunder5k
As I tell my students, ‘don’t worry about what other people are doing, worry about yourself’. So much of this confidence comes from liking yourself, and this is a journey everyone needs to go on. Telling yourself little positive affirmations while you look in the mirror goes a long way. Think about all those things you like about yourself, make a list, and tell them to yourself every day.
A quote I really love is
Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection. – Kim Collins
Realise those things you LOVE about yourself, and think ‘stuff these norms, I’m going to be me!’.
Why do you think we are scared to show who we really are?
Have a read of some of my other ‘thoughtful’ posts: